Hug Your Haters by Jay Baer

Author:Jay Baer
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2016-02-16T13:44:06+00:00

Obstacle #3: Offended by Feedback

A third reason businesses don’t answer every customer is that the hate hurts too much. It’s easy to take complaints personally and become bitter and cynical about the entire customer interaction process. This is especially true for small businesses.

Wade Lombard from Square Cow Movers recalls his first review—a one-star review on Yelp. “I read it and literally didn’t sleep for three nights. How many people saw this review? It terrified me,” he said. “And it made me want to stick my head in the sand and say, ‘You know what? We can’t fight this. We can’t deal with online consumer reviews. We just need to keep working hard to make every client happy.’ That fear is real. Don’t say there’s no reason for you to have that fear, because the fear is warranted. On the other hand, this isn’t going away. Online consumer reviews are just growing, and to stick your head in the sand is the exact opposite of what you need to do. But I understand the fear, definitely.”

The fear isn’t triggered only by concern about the ramifications of a bad review; it’s also biological, and wholly natural. In a Harvard Business Review article, Judith and Richard Glaser explain the neurochemistry of conversations, and why our first reaction to negativity is often to hide from it: “Chemistry plays a big role in this phenomenon. When we face criticism, rejection or fear, when we feel marginalized or minimized, our bodies produce higher levels of cortisol, a hormone that shuts down the thinking center of our brains and activates conflict aversion and protection behaviors. We become more reactive and sensitive. We often perceive even greater judgment and negativity than actually exists. And these effects can last for 26 hours or more, imprinting the interaction on our memories and magnifying the impact it has on our future behavior. Cortisol functions like a sustained-release tablet—the more we ruminate about our fear, the longer the impact.”11

Remember that nearly four in ten onstage haters in social media who expect a response want it within an hour, yet the physiological impact of negativity on our brains and our judgment can last twenty-six hours.12 This may explain, at least in part, cringe-inducing responses like Pollon Flowers’ “Don’t ever contact us again.” It also underscores why your frontline customer service team needs to be filled with people who are equal parts level headed and even handed. That’s often easier said than done, though, especially for small business owners who are forced to defend “their baby” against attacks that are easy to take personally.

In his book The Customer Rules, Lee Cockerell provides outstanding and practical advice for how to keep your wits about you in this situation:

When a customer has a tantrum, it is vital not to take it personally. The anger is not about you—the customer doesn’t even know you or care about you—it is about a situation. He’s been disappointed or frustrated. Maybe she feels ripped off. The complaint may be totally unreasonable, and the reaction may be way over the top.

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